Soul Guidance and Manifesting Destiny.

June 1, 2026June 1, 2026 / Ann Murphy / 1 Comment

This was a channelled message I received from my guides about following the soul’s guidance. It is also guidance on learning to trust that guidance and how to recognise when we have gone off-route. Learning to work with the soul consciousness takes time and trust. The personality, or ego, is the part of us that interfaces with the three-dimensional world. The more sieve-like we become, the more our soul’s light, intelligence, and purpose can shine through.

We become sieve-like by doing our personal healing. Clearing out old patterns and woundings. Many times, it is these energies which prevent us from manifesting what we want … and keeping what we have created.

Our evolutionary path, is to fuse the personality with the soul and bring more love into the world. This is where we are all headed. Fusing in this way takes years of development, sometimes lifetimes. Cultivating an attitude of trust and adventure helps with this process – along with meditation, personal healing and energy work.

In my endeavour to continue my journey, learning to accept my soul’s guidance and direction, I received the following from my guides. This came at a time, a couple of years ago, when I had chosen to look after my father, and I wondered where I was headed. Because we truly do create our own reality, I was very aware that I was creating mine, and living in his creation. But was my soul doing the choosing? Was this stopover point my soul’s intention, or were unhealed personality issues fueling my desire to look after him?

I was trying to manifest a good life for myself, but I was also acutely aware that my soul’s plan might be different. Or was this an intentional part of the journey because things were still in the way of my creating the better life I wanted? Unhealed issues, when we are in a process of self-development and healing, need to be gone through. We can’t skip over them. They cannot be avoided. They will slip through no matter how much conscious control we try to exert.

My guides gave me a good analogy about how our unhealed issues can get in the way of our ability to create a good life

In my home in Winchester, we spent years creating a lovely garden. We planted apple trees, plum trees, and fig trees. We had herbs and bay trees, wisteria and lilac and created the whole based on Gaia Method energies, creating a sacred space. And we loved it. We could sit out in the summer. I sat on the back doorstep and read and drank tea. It was a lovely sanctuary.

And then, when I came back from Egypt in Nov 2019, COVID happened and I chose to help my father who was unwell. This anchored me in Winchester for longer than I expected. And because I knew I’d be here until Dad wasn’t, I decided to get chickens.

I have had a long history with chickens, but had never been able to raise them from egg to end of life. I experienced too many painful things around chickens as a child and was never able to keep them for long. My emotional desire was to have them now. So I bought an incubator and hatched some eggs. In Egypt, we had lots of hens, and I really missed having them, so here was my chance.

I didn’t realise, however, just how destructive chickens can be in a garden! They ruined it! We could no longer sit out in it because they shat everywhere, and scratched out all the plants I loved. The back garden became a back yard.

My unhealed emotional issues around having hens fueled my need for them. To heal the childhood loss around hens, I had to have them until they died of natural causes. I was invested in them having a good life, to have freedom, so that became more important. I gave them the run of the garden.

If I had not had those painful experiences around chickens when I was younger, I would never have got any, and my garden would still be beautiful. Unhealed issues will do that. It is very hard to manifest what we want when unhealed traumas need healing first.

I obviously needed to have the chickens so I could heal from needing them. Now, five years on, I know I don’t need to do it again – as lovely as it is to have our own eggs. And thankfully, my garden can regrow and be well-manured into the bargain. But I’d rather not ruin my creations again because I still have unhealed emotional needs from childhood.

Was it my soul’s desire that I heal this issue? Did I need to get it out of the way to understand this lesson, so it wouldn’t ruin future creations? I don’t know. Was it simply my personality’s emotional need? Again, I don’t know. But I manifested it either way. And I healed and learned. The hard way.

I question these things because I have been on this journey of Soul-fusion since the mid nineties. At sixty three, I continue on it. I want my sieve to be a holey as possible.

To help me understand how we can manifest our creations with the soul, my guides gave me an exercise and told me to share it.

But first they gave an explanation:

Contrary to popular belief, the manner in which things are manifested is not simply a matter of wanting them. There may be many things in the way. When you work with your soul, it is the soul’s journey you are on. What does the soul require?

Let me tell you how to manifest from the soul’s perspective. You and the soul are One. Firstly, you, as a personality, are the car. The Soul, the real you, is the driver. When the soul wants to go somewhere, it puts the destination into the phone/GPS and then you, as the personality that the soul works through, follows the instructions.

Many times, your personality thinks it already knows the route, so if the GPS tells it to take a route that is unfamiliar, its immediate response is to question the wisdom of this new route. It decides to ignore the GPS and reroutes.

Sometimes the routes to manifestation can feel the same. Your soul GPS is sending you down a route that cannot possibly be right, so it feels as though you are heading in the wrong direction.

However, if you trust the guidance, you eventually find yourself exactly where you had originally intended to be.

Working and manifesting as a Soul is like that. You need trust and an open heart.

Exercise in manifesting with the soul’s GPS.

Pick a place in the world that you would like to live in someday, or that you would like to visit. Now imagine you are in your car. You have packed for the journey & everything is ready to go. You put your coordinates into your GPS, and you start the car. You leave with confidence and excitement. You know exactly where you’re going.

However, twenty miles into the journey, your GPS tells you to turn left. You hesitate (feel the feelings). ‘This isn’t the way’. You say to yourself. You ignore the instruction, and two miles further on, you find yourself stuck in a traffic jam.

One hour later, realising that the GPS knew ahead of time that this traffic jam was going to occur, you double back and take the original proffered route. Even though you feel unsure, you again start to trust that you will get there … somehow.

You continue the journey, feeling okay but still watchful.

The terrain changes as you drive, and you do not recognise it, and doubt set in again. Now you are utterly convinced you are going the wrong way. But then you remember what happened last time, so you follow the instructions, nervous, and you finally come out on a road you recognise.

Imagine that this happens all the way along your journey, and as you proceed, your trust grows and you relax and enjoy the new vistas being presented to you. A sense of adventure grows inside you now with each route change. You have transformed a goal-oriented, anxious viewpoint to one of exploration. You are no longer in a rush to get to your originally intended destination but discover along the way that not only have you learned to trust but that there are many possibilities you had not seen before.

You stop off at a viewpoint, to reconsider. You recognise that because you were too stuck on one possibility you had not considered there might be many more. And that perhaps there is a better place than the one you originally intended to end up in. Maybe this place you have stopped to rest in might be a place to rest for a while.

You are still on your journey, but now you are enjoying the detours, trusting the possibilities, and more importantly, the wisdom of your guidance.

Perhaps with all these new possibilities, a new destination has presented itself. One that feels more aligned with your soul’s desires. In trusting your guidance, you have learned to be an explorer, an adventurer, a time-traveller. You have a world of possibilities to explore. All you need to do is get in the car, program your GPS to see where it takes you.

Most importantly, you have learned to have fun, even if some of those stopovers mean staying a while to help someone, or to complete an old contract or lesson. Remembering that each stop will teach you something, but will also propel you ever onward.

Remember too, that when unhealed personality issues arise and as a result you ignore your spiritual GPS and go off-route, simply reroute. Understand that you need to trust the wisdom of your soul. It knows the route because you designed it yourself before you were born. Your soul knows the way; you just have to trust it.

Which is really trusting yourself.

Meeting My Spirit Guide

May 16, 2026May 17, 2026 / Ann Murphy / Leave a comment

This is the story of how I first connected, consciously, to my main guide. I hesitate to call him a ‘spirit guide’ even though he is not physical, at least not now – and he feels more like a friend than a ‘guide’ although he does guide me, or at least keeps me on the straight and narrow. He resides in the realms we all come from, the world of the soul. Home.

My first meeting with him happened when I did a meditation to meet my guide back in the early nineties. Like most people starting out, or who have never known who their guide was, I wanted to know too. I had been developing psychically for a couple of years, and had become a Reiki healer. My focus at that time was to connect with my soul so many of my meditations began with making that connection. When you first learn to work with your soul, you know you’ll only to get the right information because you have developed that channel.

Having got myself into the right depth of meditation, I asked my guide to show him/herself. At first nothing happened, then a grizzly bear appeared in my vision. It was standing beside a woodland on four feet.

OK, I thought. Maybe my guide is a bear. But then the bear stood up on two legs and I realised he was giving me a message. But I wasn’t getting it. So he did it again. Then I understood. But as usual, I gave my guide more status than he was comfortable with. At the time, I thought guides were somehow far superior to us mere humans, so I thought his name was ‘Great Standing Bear’.

His response? ‘No, it is just Standing Bear.’ Said in a voice of humility and grace.

For a few years, following that first conscious contact, he often arrived as a bear, and gave me bear-related messages. Such as one message where he opened his furry skin right down his middle and pulled me into it. It felt womb-like and safe and I knew he was giving me his protection. And I needed it. I was starting my healing journey, on a conscious level, and it was traumatic. To say the least.

But then things shifted and often, while lying in bed, preparing to sleep, I began to receive visions. A first nations warrior appeared in front of me, on his horse, telling me to climb up behind him. Together we rode across the plains to a lone teepee. I dismounted and was told to enter it.

A large fire lit up the interior and around it sat a circle of elders. My guide sat at the other side of the fire, at the twelve o’ clock position. I was instructed to sit at the one o’clock postion and then I had to do certain things. Sometimes, I was told to throw things into the fire, or I was given information, or a peace pipe, which meant I had to lay something to rest.

When the ceremony was finished, the other warrior would take me home, and then I could fall asleep.

This happened on a number of occasions over the years but each time, I noticed how my postion in the circle of elders changed. I was moving around the circle and soon was at the six o’clock position.

One night, I was taken to the teepee as usual, but this time as I entered, I saw Standing Bear clearly. He said to me, very loudly, from across the fire: “BLACK ELK SPEAKS“. Even though this was only a vision, it shocked me out of the vision space and I couldn’t find my way back to it.

For days afterwards I wondered what the message meant and then forgot all about it. We didn’t have the internet then so I couldn’t look it up online.

Then one day, a year later, I was in Waterstones book shop, when I suddenly asked the man behind the counter, ‘Have you ever hear of Black Elk Speaks?’

‘Yes,’ he replied. ‘We have a copy here.’ And he went to one of the shelves and picked out a book. On the cover were the words Black Elk Speaks. Once again, I was stunned. A book! I paid for it and brought it home, still shocked. It was as if my inner reality had met my waking reality and the collision had caused an earthquake.

The aftershocks were even bigger. In the book, there were photos of Standing Bear! MY Standing Bear! He had been a real, physical person and had only died a couple of decades before my own birth.

It took me weeks to get to grips with that. How could that be?

Once again, my understanding of what spirit guides really were was shifting, seismically.

I discovered that he had also been a writer and he wrote books about his childhood on the plains. He had also been a movie actor and had been part of Buffalo Bill’s Wild West Show. And he had even come to England. To say my mind was thoroughly blown would be an understatement. Incidentally, my Maternal grandmother’s surname was Coady and my Mother always told us we were related to Buffalo Bill. She had a wonderful imagination. But, in hindsight, it feels like it served as a reminder, a hint to remember that my soul could pick up on.

But slowly, it all began to make sense. Why, when I was a child, I thought I was born into the wrong body and should have been a Native American boy with black hair. Why I was obsessed with plains indians until my twenties, reading everything I could and getting angry at the way reservations were run and exploited. I’d even picked out future children’s names in the sioux language and had memories about sacred objects. For instance, when my children were born, I kept that little part of the umbilical that eventually drops off so I could put it in a bag for them for when they grew up. I knew exactly what that meant. It would be their medicine. I never actually did it, but I still have some of them.

Your guides are part of your consciousness. Their energy is so close to you, especially when you are younger, that you can feel like you are them. Their energy is so much a part of you. I noticed the same thing with an african guide when I first left home at nineteen. I became very interested in different tribes in Africa for a few years. Many years later, I discovered this African’s name. Mabusu. He is a zulu warrior, and my protector. He appears often when I need certain types of protection. I have had a number of African guides, both male and female throughout my life.

But no guide had ever blown me away quite like Standing Bear. As much as I am very grafteful to my Zulu guide for always being there. Although meeting Red Feather was also a huge surprise.

I ‘grew out of’ my Native American (First Nations) obsession in my twenties when I became a mother and I developed something of a more psychic need. But when I ended up in the UK and began my psychic development, I often heard a name come into my head. I thought it was ‘Kunta Kinte’, from the series ROOTS. Even though I heard this many times, it never seemed to mean anything significant. I looked for the meaning, watched Roots again, but gleaned nothing from it.

Until I read Standing Bear’s book. When he was a child, his name was Óta Kté. He had been giving me his name for years before I finally made contact with him. Preparing me.

My teepee visits continued until one night, when I entered the Teepee, I was at Ten O’ Clock. Standing Bear told me that I was nearly ready to sit beside him. When I did, I would have reached the place he too had reached and would be ready for the next phase.

Whatever that would be.

I eventually did because I never needed to visit the teepee again. Now I was ready to be my own guide, even though he has always been by my side and pops in when I need him. Especially when I am going through challenging growth. Now the teepee has come to represent growth and development, emotional, mental and spiritual, and is one of the energy symbols you can receive in an attunement. So much is tied into that symbol.

One of the things I am aware of from Standing Bear’s incarnation is his ability to adapt. He had to manage the changes the white man brought. He had his own native life stripped away and given a new name, Luther. He had his hair cut off and learned to read and write. He lived a very different life to what he had grown up with.. But he managed those changes. He adapted and made his life a success. He found a way.

I imagine that, as my guide, he was also helping me with similar challenges. I have also had to adapt to shifting sands in my life and to grow rather than remain in resentment about changes forced on me as a child. And, because I also write, I’m sure his influence has had a large part to play in that too. Acting, on the other hand, is never going to happen. I am far too self-conscious for that. But he has helped me navigate the stormy waters of childhood and, to be fair, the equally stormy waters of most of my life. He helped me to grow, to move past issues and to make my life mean something. He wrote books that showed people how he lived before he had to go to the white man’s school. Because he adapted, he survived, and he lived a good life as a result. A great lesson to learn and share.

My own life mirrored his, in an Irish way. I spent the first ten years of my life, minus the two that I lived in Australia which I cannot remember, in a river valley in southern Ireland. Some of it was tricky, with emotional family dynamics and accidents etc, but I lived in nature. It was my safe place. Until my family decided to move to Dublin and everything in my life changed. It also changed for my siblings. After that life became very difficult and we experienced years of challenge. Just as Standing Bear had to do, we learned to survive. I adapted and grew. His guidance gave me strength, even though I did not ‘remember’ him. But I dread to think how things might have been had he not been there all along.

The last shock of recognition I experienced with him was in one of his books. The copyright is held by one May Jones – which is also the name of my first grandaughter! So even when that blew me away again, I laughed when I read it. It was his way of saying that my writing would be taken care of.

I had finished writing this and decided to put a quote of his to finish this blog. I looked up one of his books for sake at Abe books and found a name that has been coming into my head for days. Houghton. Turns out it is the name of a publisher who published his book back in 1931. Standing Bear knew I’d be looking it up. I love that he’s still there, looking on at me with humour.

For more quotes from Standing Bear here is the link. https://www.azquotes.com/quote/667426

Unmanifesting the Web: A Lesson in Letting Go of Old Realities

December 7, 2025December 11, 2025 / Ann Murphy / Leave a comment

The following is a meditation my guides told me to do. They often tell me to tune in to accept what needs to come in.

When I closed my eyes, I see a red energy all around me and light codes streamed into my consciousness. The Reiki Master symbol, the Dai Ko Myo, expanded my energy field so I knew that what was to follow would be an attunement. I became aware of the red and black spider beneath my feet. She was clinging to her web, upside-down, wrapping silken threads around the eggs she had just laid. I was reminded of the fogou Chris I visited many years ago in Cornwall with its birthing chair and stone womb. There were many spider’s eggs sacs suspended from the ceiling, hanging from the damp walls.

This is what I wrote during that visit in 2006:

“The energy on entering the fogou was powerful. Just inside, on the left side was the creep. The doorway to the creep was narrow and low and we really had to squeeze through it to get inside. It was difficult to imagine just why it was there. I would have been much more careful if I had known how many large spiders there were hanging about. Egg sacs hung suspended from the ceiling everywhere.

The creep itself turned out to be ‘L’ shaped, and we were in complete darkness here, so we needed the torch. In the first part of the creep, before it turned left, we had to move past a boulder on the ground. It looked like a reclining woman. Moving past it and turned the corner to the end of the creep, we were greeted by a rounded stone blocking the entrance. It reminded me of a cervix, an entrance from the outside world to the inner womb.

I went back to the stone that lay on the ground. It looked like a seat and I felt an immediate urge to sit on it. It was like sitting in the lap of the Mother and I began to feel like I was in labour. I wanted to sit on this reclining stone to have my baby, as this is why I was in here and this was its purpose. When I said it to Chris, he told me, with surprise, that he felt this was a woman’s place for having babies, but he had ignored it thinking he was making it up. He felt uncomfortable being in there, so he squeezed back out through the narrow doorway.

I had a strong sense that the pregnant woman would have been helped into the chamber from outside, through where the big stone now blocks the entrance. Then she would have sat on the stone chair to have her baby, in the womb of the Mother. It was as if her baby was not only being birthed from the physical mother, but also from the Great Mother. When the child was born, it would then have been handed to those waiting outside the small doorway, as though the baby had been born twice. It would then be welcomed into the physical world of humanity and the tribe. A gift from two Mothers. This baby was emerging into the physical world of the Mother from the Mother’s other worlds.”

So, back to the present. I had the thought that this meant I was creating new ‘babies’, birthing new ideas and realities. With that thought, my energy opened from my creative centre, looking and feeling like an inverted cone, moving upwards into another dimension. Next, a spider, from a grid above me appeared. It felt more masculine. It had a brown body and it moved down from this upper web into my body, becoming part of me. I had the impression that it was some kind of desert spider, yet I could still see the black and red spider beneath my feet with her eggs.

I was now this large brown spider, becoming this energy, its legs extending out to each side of me. My guides then said: ‘Camel Spider’. They explained that it could go the distance. It had something to do with creativity, but not the same kind of creativity as the black and red spider. It was more like a creative energy on a level that isn’t the deep earth, but is more in physical reality. I was aware of it pulling in the silken threads of a web. Not weaving them, but pulling them in, threads of a web that have already been woven. It pulled them into my centre, (Hara), as it was recycling them. The threads were all potentials, old creative ideas. I could see some of them above and behind me, moving from some point in the past to a point in the future.

I pulled some of them in like pulling a rope, gathering them all up inside me, undoing creations, pulling them in so they can be rewoven. It was as though the web that I had created, at least some of those threads needed to be dismantled, to be recreated. I was unweaving the future. Letting go of visions of the future so that new ones could be created. I had created these threads of reality in the past and they were no longer necessary. They were built on old beliefs, formed during times in my past that would have manifested in the future. Old ideas of what I thought would be. But new threads are needed. My female spider is laying new eggs which grow, new ideas, new thought creations.

This masculine spider dismantles. It destroys the threads of the web, but he does it with intention. Un-spinning them. It changes my future, disconnecting me, my soul, from other places, other people who will no longer be part of my reality. This feels empowering because those threads I pulled back into myself then travelled up through my body and emerged from my crown centre. Long vibrant threads of rainbow web connected to my higher reality leaving me feeling empowered and steady. I knew I could completely trust in the creation ideas that I received from ‘Upstairs’, not those ones that I receive from outside of me, from other people. But completely trusting my ability, my own knowledge, myself, not the beliefs I get from others about what I can and I can’t do, feeling sure in my creative expression, knowing who I am.

The male camel spider, pulls back the threads of the ideas other people have for me, rather than ones I feel for myself. I don’t need to manifest a reality based on who other people have told me I am. And the female spider in the earth is busy creating new ‘babies’ for me, but old creations and connections need to be dismantled first to make room for them.

So, for those of you have received a brown spider in readings or attunements from me, this will help explain that the masculine spider energy is an uncreator, and unmanifestor. Yet the threads pulled in from the old web also feed you on some level. Each thread is a different possibility that needs to be uncreated, or recreated. The camel spider pulls in energy from old beliefs, and futures you no longer need to manifest. Each thread is a future that you’ve envisioned, or a possibility that exists outside of you. But it’s now pulling those all back iso that you manifest new realities based on who you are, not what other people in your past have told you you are.

The Camel Spider Attunement.

If you would like to explore the possibilities of the unmanifesting powers of the Camel spider, this attunement will anchor this energy into your body and auric field allowing your higher self to unmanifest the old webs you no longer need. These old webs also affect the collective unconscious but in uncreating them you allow room for new threads to be woven. The new threads are ones the world needs.

£45.00

The Female Creation Spider Attunement.

As a spider woman (male or female), you are helping to maintain the webs of creation, both those of your own life and that of humanity’s. As my guides explain: The spider energies are lines of force, the lines of light lie alongside them. When we say lines of force we mean they are like electricity lines, lines which allow a force to move through them. Lines of light are vibrational frequencies akin to sound and colour. These are healing frequencies. Lines of force bring change, a change in the surroundings through which they move. The lines of light bring healing to the consequences of those changes. Things are shifted when the force moves through them, light heals what is released/revealed. You can read more about these webs and the spider on the page ‘Web of Life’.

£45.00

Reading the Soul.

March 25, 2017July 19, 2024 / Ann Murphy / Leave a comment

A Soul reading can be many things. It can tell you what our Soul desires to accomplish, on a personal level, in this lifetime. It can tell you what you do, as a Soul, in the Spirit-world, in terms of our Soul service. It can tell you what you are here on the planet to do, for instance, if you are already training to be a guide, or involved in other purposeful work, for instance, in the environment, with people, or animals, etc. It can be instructive, teaching you to remember why you chose to incarnate this time around, or it can be advice on how to work through a certain issue that you might have been grappling with for many lifetimes.

Many times, if it is necessary for your Soul, or ‘entity’, to remind you of what you planned to do here, you might find other lifetimes being brought to your attention, lifetimes that have a bearing on your current challenges. This is to remind your Soul, rather than your personality, because your Soul can then prompt your personality into understanding that there is a reason why you are doing what you are doing, or why you are experiencing what you are experiencing.

Sometimes you are given, if it will help you, your Soul Age in terms of development. When your guides do this it is to remind you that you have had many lifetimes of experience behind you and that this current challenge is probably one you have met before, therefore, you have many skills and abilities at your disposal. In other words “You can do this”.

Having experienced Life between Life regression sessions (Andy Tomlinson) and many years of past-life work, this has given me a wonderful connection to the Soul World. I also participated, as a ‘subject’ in one of Andy’s books on Life Between Lives, where I was regressed and spoke on behalf of my own group of Elders who were able to answer Andy’s questions on many subjects, including the legend of Atlantis, animal souls and why we choose certain lives to work on. He wrote this book in collaboration with Ian Lawton.

This gave me a connection to that level that I have never lost. For me, that is the true meaning of Bringing Heaven to Earth, making ourselves more aware of our Soul’s existence and working at opening up to that level of awareness.

Any of Andy’s books, and especially the Books by Dr. Michael Newton, are an amazing resource if you are interested in this subject. Dr. Newton’s books opened the way for me to be able to read the Soul History and Purpose of other people. Even though it took me 17 years to do it!

I also worked with Melvyn Foey, a wonderful Network Chiropractor and Past Life Facilitator, with a practice in Winchester, and in Cornwall. With him, I undercovered the reasons why I had had so many fears around actualising my purpose in this lifetime.

I would recommend, if you are interested in learning more about yourself as a Soul, that you check out these books. It makes a Soul Reading much easier to understand if you understand how the process of living as a Soul works. The books also go into lots of detail about your guides and their function in your life, and why you chose the life you chose in the first place.

Soul Readings can be used to understand the dynamics within relationships, both family and intimate. Once you understand the background and purpose of relationship difficulties it becomes much easier to accept them and to work through them. This understanding might also give you the courage you need to leave a damaging relationship or to work through issues that are actually there for your growth within the relationship.

Fears, gifts, talents, and ways of life can also be explained, and you might discover that you have a gift that you could be actualizing in your physical life. Your personality character is better understood once you see why you chose the circumstances in your life, and the challenges which face you.

As my own guides once told me “The challenge is to overcome the challenges.” Knowing this, gave me the courage and strength to continue ‘overcoming’. Working with my Soul through past life and inter-lives work helped me enormously.

WE are so much greater than the sum of our parts!

Paying for a Reading.

Fledgling Humanity.

February 22, 2014 / Ann Murphy / Leave a comment

For years now I have struggled with the state of humanity and I have queried the New Age and Ascension it is said that we are involved in. Much of it never made sense to me. Ascension, as we understand it in the New Age movement, is our movement into the 5th Dimension and as we ascend we experience certain symptoms, all of which feel menopausal to me! Its been a long time since I did any ascension work and even when I was undergoing Ascension initiations I was very sceptical of much of the beliefs, which, I might add, I was expected to believe in wholeheartedly!

Thinking back on my first experience of Ascension I remember borrowing a book on it from another student in a Tarot class I was in. Reading the book made me feel so exited, even though there was so much in there I just could not believe, such as no longer having a physical body when we ascend. It was the word Ascension that got me. After 20+ years of conscious development and healing I can see now that that word was my ‘trigger’ word, the word that would set me on my path to becoming aware.

I spent the first ten years working on my ascension. I worked on opening myself up to the highest energies possible, meditating every day and getting to know my deeper unconscious, healing intensively. It was a roller-coaster of emotions and many times it was nightmarish. But I continued learning, and developing my psychic abilities and learned to channel. I received initiations into a number of different healing modalities and used them all on myself…always healing.

One day, my guides told me that the following year I would have to go to do something important. I would recognise it when the ‘message’ came. A year later I received it. It was in one of the New Age magazines which I received regularly and was an advert about an Ascension workshop in Egypt the following June. As soon as I read the advert I knew that this was what they had told me about the previous year. Now I had never felt any connection to Egypt at all, but many of my meditation journeys involved training beneath the Sphinx, but I just thought that it was symbolic. I felt no heart connection to Egypt nor did I ever feel any desire to visit there. But it turned out to be the start of yet another journey in my life.

It was an amazing journey and I had some very powerful experiences, but when I returned to the UK and went back to work in the new Age bookshop I worked in, I found that every spiritual belief I had about anything New Agey disappeared. It was as though that vast space I had been trying to expand into for so many years suddenly shut! At the same time I began to do Life Between Life work and this was amazing. My connection to the world of our souls, and our reasons for being incarnated on the planet in the first place, changed my life and I began to follow a different direction. All of the illusions and delusions, which were useful learning tools at the time, fell away and I was able to see ‘truth’ more easily and deceptions were no longer tolerable…my own or anyone else’s. But I was also able to see from my soul’s perspective on things, which made my choices somewhat more challenging but I felt like I had more control…at least to a point!

I was still healing; that never stops, but it had become easier and I was no longer experiencing those bi-polar type highs and lows. Now my guides started to introduce new concepts and I was on my Earth Healing path. The Gaia Method started to ‘come in’ and I began exploring the consciousness of the planet. I also began working on healing the wounded male psyche. Previously I had been working on my wounded feminine self and all my counselling training had been around that, or so I thought. I had been working on my co-dependency and abuse issues for years but now my guides told me to forget everything I had learned up until now as the time had come for me to heal the wounded male,; as I had healed enough of my own wounded male and so was prepared for this new level of work. Really??? This has been a challenging aspect of the journey and I constantly question it, especially when my situation feels more like I am just being co-dependent, but one night I had a dream that I was reading a message in the personal ads in a newspaper. The advert was to me and it said ‘Under normal circumstances you would be doing every thing you could to get out of situations such as this but this time we want to go into it as much as you can’. I remember waking up and thinking ‘You must be joking’! But I understood what they meant.

So for nearly 10 years I have been doing that. My work with the Gaia Method has taught me so much but moving to Egypt, and experiencing a whole different reality, a reality of abuse, poverty and disempowerment. I began to question how we see ‘reality’ in the West, realising that it is an entirely different reality to the one which I was familiar with. Then I found myself constantly questioning why messengers keep coming to Earth if humanity doesn’t learn anything, or, if they do, why do they then twist the teachings to suit themselves and their own desire for power? Life in an Islamic country is like living on another planet! I began to see the world through very different eyes and I began to think about the fact that the three main Western ‘prophets/teachers had all emerged from the Middle East. And yet, even so, the place is a mess. People are more violent, more abusive, more crazy. I began to despair that Humanity would ever ‘get it’. And what was ascension all about anyway, as millions of people in this part of the world were no nearer ascension than the man in the moon!

Then a couple of weeks ago I received some channelling which magically stopped my despair! Two words in that channelling expressed everything; fledgling humanity. Humanity is still that young! ( I should really read more often the channelling I receive!)

The planet goes through these cycles periodically and during times of greater energy messengers come to bring in more spiritually aligned ways of living. We are collectively moving into a ‘greater light’ but we will still be here, incarnating and living and loving and dying and struggling until we get it and have grown up! We are children on this Earth and we have to learn to be adults. That could take thousands of years yet. But that is alright…and also an incredible relief! We are not expected to be perfect here…now, but we are being given extra energy in which to progress a little bit faster than usual. Again, this is not the first time, Jesus came in such a time too, a time of accelerated learning potential. The Buddha, and other great, and lesser, but no less important, teachers came in times of change. That is their mission, to uplift humanity and help weed their garden! These teachers are all around us and will always be until we no longer need them.

There are groups of Guides, or Masters who I call Lords, or at least that is how they call themselves to me, who oversee the development of humanity and who work with people all over the world to help them steer us in the right direction. They don’t feel under pressure to make us whole right now so why do we? My own expectations for humanity, and my own despair at their apparent lack of movement, has now dissipated and I feel more accepting of Time. We as a people, have a long way to go yet, so why should I expect so much? Children have to grow and all our teachers can do is give us boundaries and guidance. The rest is up to us.