Whatever happened to Mother?

I wrote this blog a few years ago while I was living in Luxor but it was really more about my observations of how the Catholic faith ‘disappeared’ the Mother, especially in the British Isles. But it hadn’t always been that way.


As a result of being able to see the energy or ritual I was able to see what happened during the Catholic Mass and the consecration of the bread and the wine. That told me a lot about the Catholic Church!

But read the blog and you will see how I came to my conclusions!

Today’s Message…on Grumbling!

I’m sorting out the kitchen and getting lunch ready and suddenly upstairs chime in with “Just for today, do not grumble.”

This is obviously a new slant on Usui’s five precepts:

Just for today (Kyo dake wa):

Don’t get angry (Okoru na*)

Don’t worry (Shinpai su na)

Be grateful (Kansha shite)

Work diligently (Gyo wo hage me)

Be kind to others (Hito ni shinsetsu ni)

What do they mean, do not grumble? I’m not grumbling! I thought, rather put out that they’d even suggested that I might be. But, as I cast my mind back to how I had been behaving all morning I had to admit, that yes, I was definitely grumbling!

Grumbling about the fact that Omar (my husband) had thrown his jeans onto the table before going to sleep last night and had inadvertently spilt my half-finished cup of tea all over it, ruining some hand-made grass table mats, and thank God, missing my laptop. I didn’t discover it until I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the loo! That was grumble number one! (Note to self, put away tea mug before going to bed!)

Then I discovered that we had an invasion of fire ants in the dustbin under the sink! Grumble number two. So I spent half an hour while cooking and cleaning, spraying them with poison that could kill a horse (not good when you’re cooking), and then sweeping up their little dead bodies. There were a lot of them!

Fire ants are very small ants with a sting worse than a horsefly’s so the last thing you want in your kitchen is hundreds of them! We had the same problem in Luxor when we went back to the flat just before we painted it. As soon as we blocked one of their ‘doorways’ through our tiles, they would find another one! Thankfully, this time, we had the right insecticide.

And I don’t care what ‘upstairs’ say about all of us creatures co-habiting. I’m not sharing my living space with fire ants, mosquitos or blood-sucking flies, so my killer spray is always at hand. As Seth says ‘we create our own reality’, well my reality doesn’t include insects that leave a nasty bite!

THEN, I was filling a container with pasta and the bag tore, sending the pasta all over the floor. The same floor I had sprayed with ant killer only half and hour earlier. Grumble number three!

So, between trying to kill the ant invasion and getting food ready, I was obviously grumbling…a lot. Well, I did have to completely gut the kitchen to get rid of them…grumble number four!

Hmm, maybe they’re right.  I’ll have to listen up and take my guides suggestion on board and watch my ‘grumbling’ habit. The last thing I want is to create a worse insect-ridden life; it takes me away from my writing.  So perhaps if I stop grumbling about them they won’t invade my space and I might actually get my editing done!

So, Just For Today, I Am Not going to Grumble…anymore! Have a nice day!

Here is a video on these little suckers! If you’re interested…


Queen of Trees and Isis, Goddess of Egypt.

There is an amazing film about the Sycamore Fig, a tree which was once sacred to the Goddesses Isis, Hathor and Nut. (Queen of Trees). Trees have always been an important source of nourishment to human beings and to all the creatures that live in and on them. This tree is fecund and nourishing and, quite probably, was a source of survival for all of those people who didn’t live in palaces but who lived so much closer to the land around the Nile.

When you watch the film, think about why it was sacred to the Mother Goddesses. Look at it symbolically, keeping in mind that the Mothers are the Feeders of humanity. Sweet milk is the milk of the mother, but she also gives her fruit. This tree is especially significant to a region which does not have trees that are this abundant, all year round, and this film shows why.

To me, this is the Symbolic Tree of Life, which is not a vertical tree, but a horizontal one, spreading its branches, from its Nile tree-trunk to other places in Egypt. Watching this film helps me to understand how this works, as the fig’s fruit travels all over the surrounding countryside via other creatures, seeding new trees. This is what we do, as Gaia Method healers. We are symbolic trees too!

To the Ancient Egyptians, the tree had two functions, one physical and one energetic, and both fed the country and its people. Can you see the biblical Eve in this tree? She is not tempting, but feeding! There is a reason that it is not a male god in the tree!

But anyway, watch the movie and think Mother Goddess and her priests and priestesses and see what you get from it. If you get nothing of this nature but you appreciate the beautiful photography then that is enough. It is a beautiful film in its own right.


On the Importance of Heresy…

If we have no heretics we must invent them, for heresy is essential to health and growth. ― Yevgeny Zamyatin

This morning’s on-awakening message was about the importance of heresy and heretics. Changes in deep-seated religious beliefs cannot happen without the heretics challenging the rigid status quo of beliefs about God, or society.

I’ve been thinking about that all morning, and I went online to check out some famous heretics. Living here in Egypt, we have our own famous heretic, Pharoah Akhenaten, who tried to change the spiritual beliefs of the entire country, failing, but only somewhat. His spiritual beliefs became part of the Jewish tradition.

The world is kept alive only by heretics: the heretic Christ, the heretic Copernicus, the heretic Tolstoy. Our symbol of faith is heresy. ― Yevgeny Zamyatin

Yes, Jesus was a heretic, as was Mary Magdalene, the first Christian. So was Mohammed, and his first wife, Khadija. She too was the first Muslim.  And Moses? Well… not that that is any consolation to fundamentalists of our three main western religions, all of which originated in the Middle East. Or perhaps I am being heretical?

Anway, hopefully you get my point. These heretics came to change the way humanity was doing things, none of them really succeeded, but they tried. Some got the real message and used it to base their life on, but most just used the beliefs to prop themselves up with. They are still doing it now.

I’m not sure why ‘upstairs’ are giving me this info at this time?   I am searching my inner and outer world to see why it applies. Are they reassuring me? Are some old Irish Catholic beliefs being stirred up internally? That’s probable. I do struggle with some issues of the Gaia Method system, especially when talking to men about it. It gives me a hot flush; being menopausal really shows me where my anxieties lie!

Working with the Gaia Method is a challenge because it really does challenge some unconscious beliefs around God, the Father! Because it is divinely Feminine in nature, and not Masculine, like our three main western religions, I suppose the fear is always there that it will end badly! Or that our Divine feminine energy will be suppressed etc. Not that I am putting myself on a par with the Moses, Jesus and Mohammed, but you get the idea. I believe too, that without the wives of these men, they could not have come as far as they did. The women played a vital role in their ability to teach their new ideas and to live them. Akhenaten was not an exception; if it wasn’t for Nefertiti’s strength he might never have gotten to Akhetaten in the first place. If it wasn’t for Khadija, Mohammed would have been too terrified to pass on his channelled information and if it wasn’t for Mary Magdalene, Jesus would not have learned about the rights of women to be free. Moses too learned his stuff from a Bedouin woman, who became his wife!

I believe too, that without the wives of these men, they would not have come as far as they did. The women played a vital role in their ability to teach their new ideas and to live them. Akhenaten was not an exception; if it wasn’t for Nefertiti’s strength he might never have gotten to Akhetaten in the first place. If it wasn’t for Khadija, Mohammed would have been too terrified to pass on his channelled information and if it wasn’t for Mary Magdalene, Jesus would not have learned about the rights of women to be free. Moses too learned his stuff from a Bedouin woman, who then became his wife! All of these men had female teachers, who taught them self-trust and awareness. Without those female teachers, our three main religions might never have come to be. It’s a shame that the rest of the population could not accept the teachings, but the seeds are still there.

Perhaps my own fear of what it means to be a heretic, especially after dying rather horribly having been accused of being one in the USA a few centuries ago, as a young Quaker girl, is triggered. Yes, even writing about it brings on a hot flush. I came in with that lifetime very close to the surface, and obviously, I chose that for a reason. Even though I know I am ‘safe’ enough in this lifetime, the fears still remain, although I know I can move past them. I know rationally that they don’t apply this time around, so I need to have an inner conversation with myself.

I’ll let you know what happens!


What is it to be a King…?

Sometimes I wake up with my guides telling me stuff! Often it is in response to questions I have been asking in my head, exploring the whys and wherefores of life as a Soul in human incarnation.

Like many people at the moment, I am thinking of Rulership. What does it mean to be a Ruler of a country, be it King, Queen, Prime Minister, President, Taoiseach, etc? I have been looking back at my own past-life history and the ruling positions I have had over the centuries, most of them pretty badly handled, unfortunately!  As Souls, we learn about all facets of human development and this includes the role of leader. Lessons in how to rule, how to wield power fairly etc, are all part of our soul learning.

Not me!

About fifteen years ago I had a regression session with Melvyn Foey, a Network Chiropractor who I see regularly. During that session, I went back into a life I had as an Indian Maharajah, a long time before the coming of the English. When I was a young boy I had a spiritual teacher, who was training me to be a wise and good king. My father died early and I became King but I wasn’t old enough to rule so my mother ruled in my stead. My teacher was trying to teach me humility and how to rule well but I was incredibly narcissistic, and abusive. His teachings were wasted on me.

My mother constantly fed me with her ideas, which contradicted my teacher’s, and which were far more attractive to me than ideas of spiritual humility and service. To me, they smacked of powerlessness and I wanted power. I had power. That was the most amazing thing I experienced in the regression. My power energy radiated out from me. It was like a drug. It disconnected me from any other human emotion. If someone was ‘weak’ or did something wrong I would not hesitate to kill them. They didn’t matter to me, especially women. It was like being tapped into an unending source of energy that gave me godlike powers over life and death. It was an addiction.

However, that life ended badly! A failed assassination attempt shocked me so much that I developed a mental illness. I could not understand why anyone would want to kill me and I became paranoid and hid myself away. It was a complete shock to the system. Wasn’t I all-powerful? My mother remained the ruler behind the scenes while I sank further and further into a bottomless pit of paranoia and depression.

The people of my kingdom staged a revolt and stormed the palace, dragging me out into the grounds.  I was pushed to my knees by the leader of the revolt. In front of the crowd, he was going to take my head. As he looked down at me, sword in hand, I looked up at him, and with a sudden moment of lucidity, I recognised that he was just like me! Power hungry and ruthless. I laughed and my life ended with one swing of his sword. 

As a result of that regression, I see through different eyes. I see Trump and his ego and I remember myself! I see the leaders of countries fulfilling their own personal needs for power and control. And I remember myself! How can I judge them when I have been there? That’s not to say that I can’t dislike them, but I can’t judge them.

I have had other lives, where I have been the observer of rulers, or advisors to them, and also lifetimes where I experienced being abused as a young ruler, so I have learned about power!

This morning’s message, coming in just as I was waking up, was about being a king, and what that meant. The message was “As a king, you act charitably.” It is not about desiring personal power, but of acting charitably towards the people who put you in that position. It isn’t about personal needs but about other’s needs. You are in a position of wealth and governance to help the poor and to make other’s lives better. The people’s wealth is not your wealth. It is there to create order, to create stability, to create balance. Needless to say this also applies to women in power, it’s not only about kings.

Thinking of why my guides specifically spoke about kings, in terms of the Gaia Method and the men who train in the system, it is about learning to use their skills and abilities to benefit others. This doesn’t mean that they live in penury while others live off of them, but it means that money is there to be used to benefit the lives of others as well as yourself. All is balance; you cannot help anybody financially if you are destitute! As my guides told me a few years ago, “You are not a philanthropist.” I was surprised and questioned their meaning. Their reply was “Because philanthropists are rich!” At that time I was trying to serve others but I was sacrificing my own needs to do it, which left me in a worse position than they were!  I was giving out-of-balance, so I turned it around!

Nuada Airgetlam, King of the Tuatha De Danaan.

The role of men in the Gaia Method is to learn to be a king, a leader, even if outwardly you look nothing like one. It is an internal process, a process of letting go of ‘holding on’. It is an initiatic path of service, just as it is for women. But the healing is different because men are raised differently in our society. Think of the old spiritual kings, King Arthur, Egyptian kings until after Akhenaten’s reign, the stories of King Nuada, Aairgetlam. They were ‘married’ to Sovereignty, the Female Power of the Land and its people. They role was to serve. They trained to be king, letting go of personal desires for power and wealth and learned to put the land, through the Divine Feminine energy, and her people first. Letting go of the need for control is a powerful step!

If they failed, on any level, they lost their power and their position. It was a constant balancing act for them. Nuada lost his arm in a battle and lost his position. He was no longer ‘perfect’, i.e. he had lost his connection to the Goddess. Arthur too, lost himself, because he became too emotionally attached to his desire for personal connection to Guinevere, who was Sovereignty.

The path to Divine Kingship is the path of letting go and learning to serve. It is the path of the Eagle. Learning to use higher vision to soar above the selfish human desires and the need for power-over. There is nothing wrong with desire, but for a king, it has to be channelled correctly. There is nothing wrong with having power so long as it too is used correctly. There is nothing wrong with being rich, so long as we remember to use it well in the service of others, in however you feel guided to do. A

A King is evolved enough, through healing and hard work, to desire to serve the greater good. He is training to be the partner of Sovereignty and women in the system are training to be Sovereignty!  Everything is balance! The great outcome of this path is that we learn to create our lives more richly, because it removes our unconscious fears of ‘having’. We are not just doing this for ourselves, but for others!

For men to reach Kingship status, he has learned to value women, letting go of unconscious and conscious beliefs about them as powerless, sexual, or whatever their particular beliefs tell them. He has to heal his own Mother issues, his relationship issues etc. The same as women have to do about the father, and their own lack of power and sovereignty.

There is a progression of development for men. They are a Knight, serving a Lady, just like in the Old Days!  The Lady assists the knight to let go of his old beliefs about women, and the power issues that arise from those beliefs. The Knight protects the lady, making it easier for them both to carry out their work, assisting the Land and its people.  The Lady too works on her negative beliefs around men and heals her own traumas around power and abuse at the hand of men and patriarchal systems.  The man might never reach King Status, and that’s OK. Not all women can heal enough of themselves to reach their Sovereignty role either. But it is the desire to work hard and get there that counts.

The Lady too works on her negative beliefs around men and heals her own traumas around power and abuse at the hand of men and patriarchal systems.  They teach each other how to rule in service. The man might never reach King Status, and that’s OK. Not all women can heal enough of themselves to reach their Sovereignty role either. But it is the desire to work hard and get there that counts.



New Seth’s Deleted Sessions.

I have just bought the first book in the series of Seth’s Personal Sessions, now that they are finally on Kindle, and I cannot put it down. Reading it in bed, before I sleep, my eyelids are struggling to stay open.

Now, I have been a fan of the Seth books for over twenty years, and have based my own personal development around them, using his higher insight and information. But often, because I am a predominantly spiritual/emotional person, although my rational mind is pretty well developed too, I tend to understand things more from an ‘experienced’ place. Intellectual ideas spin me out. So I tend to learn experientially, like most healers and psychics.

As a result of that, sometimes I found it difficult to understand how to use some of the information that Seth spoke about because I did not have a ‘hook’ to hang it on. Until now!

Because Jane, the woman who Seth spoke through while Jane was in trance, died earlier than they had hoped, and in the same way as her own mother, I had always wondered, from a psychological perspective, why she had died that way and what had prevented her from healing her illness, given that she was receiving so much help from Seth.

These books explain it all; and because they are focused on the personal, psychological issues of both Jane and her husband Rob, and their respective families and friends, I find it easy to understand and to work with.

So many of the older famous teachers, Shakti Gawain and others, based their life’s work around teaching the concepts of how we create our reality, originally taught by Seth. They were my teachers when I first began my own awakening journey in 1994. So when I found the Seth books, it all fell into place.

Reading The Personal Sessions takes me to another level of understanding of how to work with the deeper aspects of our psyches that can cause so much difficulty in our lives.

To give you an example, and one which is highly pertinent, as a family member has recently gone through an episode of this nature, and this has also been my experience on my own journey, Seth says this to Jane’s husband, who is recording Seth’s words:

(1) “In a new crisis situation, in facing a present crisis squarely and dealing with it in adult terms, he may indeed free himself largely; for the present situation through association brings up highly charged emotional energies that have been stopped up and causing difficulty.

It is highly necessary then that his present course be maintained, expressing his emotions honestly to himself and to you; and examining them, if he prefers, afterward, then taking with you whatever steps are necessary in your family situation. This is the adult’s chance to understand and emotionally exorcise parental ghosts from the child’s past. They will be viewed in the light of the present, brought up because of your family’s dilemma, to the light of day.

Ruburt (Jane’s entity name) should not brush aside any emotional connections then, but understand what is happening. For this process is releasing him already, and operates like a catharsis.”

This is exactly what happens in our life. We are triggered by an external event. The trigger opens up blocked emotional energy which then emerges, flooding us with unexpressed emotion. Once this dammed up emotional energy is released, we get to a point of being able to understand rationally, why it came up in the first place and what the emotional block was all about. This is not an easy process, but it clears things in an amazing way, freeing us to pursue a path which was previously closed to us, due to the emotional energy blockage.   Needless to say, there are layers of issues to work with but eventually they do clear, if you keep working on them.

On a physical level, Jane died with crippling arthritis and Seth tried to help both Jane and Rob to understand why she was ill, even though when Seth gave this information, the illness had not come so far:

(2) “The symptoms themselves cause certain chemical changes that have an effect, then, on the personality itself. If the self accepts the symptoms, and in all cases of illness to some extent or another this is true, then paradoxically a portion of the self identifies with the symptoms. (i.e. my depression, my illness, etc)

To rip away the symptoms becomes a ripping away of a portion of the self, even if a most disagreeable portion. The procedures immediately call for new growth on the part of the self, to replace what is being taken away, and to replace it in a more constructive fashion. This necessitates finding the causes for the symptoms, backtracking, really, to the point before the symptoms’ appearance, and facing problems now that would not be faced then. The symptoms represent in all cases one attempt, one method, of solving the existing problems. The personality must become aware of the inefficiency of such a manner. Now in some cases a physical illness is the best solution for various reasons having to do with reincarnational influences, and the inner lack of balance of the personality. In Ruburt’s case this is not so. We are trying to make him see the basic difficulty, and give him a solution that is acceptable. He should make every effort to understand them consciously as well as emotionally.”

(3) For years, literally, it was hammered into Ruburt’s subconscious that he was not worthy of any kind of success, and that he would be punished for his treatment of his mother. The suggestions came from the mother. Suggestions given by the mother are always the most tenacious in any case. While he struggled (to succeed), these did not cause him noticeable difficulty, though they operated underground, impeding his progress. Only when it seemed that success was on its way, or inevitable, did these suggestions show their effects. He is conscious of some of these in a general fashion. His mother let it be known that she had no use for him, and he thought if his mother could not love him, then certainly there must be something seriously wrong and unworthy about him. Running away gave him a feeling of security, but he ran in desperation. He stopped running to deal with the problem, to meet it head on. Symbolically then, he stopped running, but he carried this out in physical terms also. On a few occasions the mother went so far as to say: “I hope you are crippled someday, too.” And this became the feared punishment.”

Unfortunately, Jane was unable to heal this very deep psyche wound, and eventually died at the age of fifty-five years. Perhaps if she had had access to therapists and healers, as we do today, things might have been very different, who knows?

So if you are a healer, and you want to understand how to move through issues that arise, emotionally and physically, I recommend you read these books, plus the other Seth Books, all of which you can buy on Amazon. They are books that you will never stop reading! They are always valuable and useful. For me, the personal Sessions are a firm favourite, and ones I will go back to again and again, once I have read them all, that is. I just love them!







Quote 1) Roberts, Jane. The Personal Sessions: Book One of the Deleted Seth Material: Personal Seth Sessions 11/15/65 – 12/6/71 (Kindle Locations 1670-1671). New Awareness Network Inc. Kindle Edition.

(Quote 3) Roberts, Jane. The Personal Sessions: Book One of the Deleted Seth Material: Personal Seth Sessions 11/15/65 – 12/6/71 (Kindle Locations 1479-1481). New Awareness Network Inc. Kindle Edition.

Quote 2) Roberts, Jane. The Personal Sessions: Book One of the Deleted Seth Material: Personal Seth Sessions 11/15/65 – 12/6/71 (Kindle Locations 1586-1594). New Awareness Network Inc. Kindle Edition.