The following morning, I made sure I had time to go to Barton Stacey church before visiting my father. He has lived in the village for over twenty years, as did my sister until she died. She is buried in the graveyard of the church close to a lovely old yew which has snowdrops blooming beneath it. It is a very peaceful place.

To get into the church, I had to get the key from the shop. However, getting into the church created challenges that felt like a spiritual message, or quest. Sometimes, doing this kind of work necessitates opening your awareness not only to the energies of place but also to other communications. Everything means something, and usually, when receiving this information, usually through actions you might be taking, a ‘recognising’ happens that tells you what you are doing is a message you need to take onboard.

My message that morning came in the form of keys. Having retrieved the key to the church from the shop, I made my way back to the main door. I was surprised that there was only one key as there were two keyholes, one old keyhole for an old iron key, and a yale lock. But the key in my hand was a chubb, yet I couldn’t see where it fit. I thought perhaps it opened a door around the side and so walked around the church to find it. There were two doors, but the key fit neither. Yet the key was definitely for the church, so it must fit somewhere. I walked back to the main door again and looked harder. Then, above the yale lock, higher in the door, I noticed a brass disc and realised that there was a third keyhole behind it which, lo and behold, my key fit!

I was aware of the message here: three doors, three keys but the key fit only one keyhole. The higher one. OK. Message logged, and door unlocked, I continued into the church.

Although All Saints is an old building, having been recorded in the Domesday book, it is not the original church. The original Saxon building was in a lower field behind the current site. My brother-in-law told me that they’d excavated the original site and come to the conclusion that it had been moved because the lower field flooded in winter; being too close to the River Test. The current building is on the higher drier, ground which proved to be far more successful.

However, history notwithstanding, there was an energy in the building which was quite ‘’regal’. My usual process is to make my way to the Altar. This is where, anciently, the feminine energies of water beneath the ground, or of earth vortices, are to be found. But, in this church, I heard someone telling me to ‘Approach’, in a rather regal tone, as though there was already someone waiting for me and who was worthy of my respect. It felt like other times when I visited ancient sites and was greeted by the Guardian-protector. It also felt strangely, more like a temple than a church.

At the altar, I stopped and noticed the stained glass window to my right. It depicted Mary Magdalene being told by an angel at Jesus’ tomb that he was no longer there; that he had ascended. Interesting, I thought. And a nice synchronicity.

Tuning into the energies, I saw a Pelican. Then I heard ‘An impediment stands in your way’. The pelican is an older Christian symbol of a pelican making its chest bleed so it can feed its young with the blood. Self-sacrifice. I thought that it might be a personal message and took it onboard. But, was the impediment a personal message or might it refer to something else? As it turns out, it did.

Continuing with my intention, I placed the Magdalene Flame on the altar and expanded it with my breath. When it had grown, a woman with the Magdalene energy appeared behind the altar. In each hand, she held a flame. Her left hand held the Magdalene flame and in her right hand sat the Brigit Flame. She transferred the flames to my hands so I could take them somewhere else, but I didn’t know where, yet.

Next, she handed me a gold chalice filled with communion wafers and a goblet of wine, as though she was a priest. Then she said, ‘THIS is my church. Go amongst my people. Share my love with all. Give freely.’

I did not know what she meant. Did she mean I was to do that, and if so, how? And what did she mean by THIS is my church? Did she mean this physical building or the beliefs around her as a Divine Feminine energy? It felt esoteric, rather than purely physical. Her church felt energetic, like a thoughtform of her. I didn’t really understand. But I did understand that the communion wafers were the bread of the Mother and that when energised, fed the people spiritually. The wine, when consecrated, represented the energy of the Father and did likewise. These wafers were her energy.

Sometimes, when the energy of the Mother is to be shared, I am given it in the form of communion wafers, but this didn’t seem to fit that message. It felt too ritual-y. More like for a mass or a church service. But, needing to trust what was given, I held the energies anyway as I knew it would make more sense further down the line.

Which of course it did.

It has been quite a challenge, balancing the physical obligations of life with the energetic work of connecting these churches. I have to be able to dance between the two states; to move between them even though I feel very earthbound. Looking after my father means I have to stay physically focused, which means I don’t ‘feel’ the high energies like I usually do. And yet, they come anyway and I can be in the physical world without losing my connection to the other dimensional worlds. This is reassuring because sometimes when the energies are not very strong, they can be harder to read. At those times it is easy for me to think I am imagining it, wanting to see what isn’t really there. When that happens, I just watch, as I learned to do in the years of meditation and healing training I did. Being so grounded in the physical world makes it harder, as my vibration feels very ‘normal’, but remaining present to what intuitively, and psychically, appears is the key. One of them, at least.

Because this energetic feminine presence had given me these things, I knew they had to go somewhere, but it took a couple more weeks to find out where and the message about the impediment also became clear.

Before that one, I called into another church, after an impulsive detour the following day: St. Mary’s Church, in the village of Crawley. That work reminded me of the lesson about trusting my ability to manifest what I need.

But, I’ll share that with you next time.