The following morning, I made sure I had time to go to Barton Stacey church before visiting my father. He has lived in the village for over twenty years, as did my sister until she died. She is buried in the graveyard of the church close to a lovely old yew which has snowdrops blooming beneath it. It is a very peaceful place.
To get into the church, I had to get the key from the shop. However, getting into the church created challenges that felt like a spiritual message, or quest. Sometimes, doing this kind of work necessitates opening your awareness not only to the energies of place but also to other communications. Everything means something, and usually, when receiving this information, usually through actions you might be taking, a ‘recognising’ happens that tells you what you are doing is a message you need to take onboard.
My message that morning came in the form of keys. Having retrieved the key to the church from the shop, I made my way back to the main door. I was surprised that there was only one key as there were two keyholes, one old keyhole for an old iron key, and a yale lock. But the key in my hand was a chubb, yet I couldn’t see where it fit. I thought perhaps it opened a door around the side and so walked around the church to find it. There were two doors, but the key fit neither. Yet the key was definitely for the church, so it must fit somewhere. I walked back to the main door again and looked harder. Then, above the yale lock, higher in the door, I noticed a brass disc and realised that there was a third keyhole behind it which, lo and behold, my key fit!
I was aware of the message here: three doors, three keys but the key fit only one keyhole. The higher one. OK. Message logged, and door unlocked, I continued into the church.
Although All Saints is an old building, having been recorded in the Domesday book, it is not the original church. The original Saxon building was in a lower field behind the current site. My brother-in-law told me that they’d excavated the original site and come to the conclusion that it had been moved because the lower field flooded in winter; being too close to the River Test. The current building is on the higher drier, ground which proved to be far more successful.
However, history notwithstanding, there was an energy in the building which was quite ‘’regal’. My usual process is to make my way to the Altar. This is where, anciently, the feminine energies of water beneath the ground, or of earth vortices, are to be found. But, in this church, I heard someone telling me to ‘Approach’, in a rather regal tone, as though there was already someone waiting for me and who was worthy of my respect. It felt like other times when I visited ancient sites and was greeted by the Guardian-protector. It also felt strangely, more like a temple than a church.
At the altar, I stopped and noticed the stained glass window to my right. It depicted Mary Magdalene being told by an angel at Jesus’ tomb that he was no longer there; that he had ascended. Interesting, I thought. And a nice synchronicity.
Tuning into the energies, I saw a Pelican. Then I heard ‘An impediment stands in your way’. The pelican is an older Christian symbol of a pelican making its chest bleed so it can feed its young with the blood. Self-sacrifice. I thought that it might be a personal message and took it onboard. But, was the impediment a personal message or might it refer to something else? As it turns out, it did.
Continuing with my intention, I placed the Magdalene Flame on the altar and expanded it with my breath. When it had grown, a woman with the Magdalene energy appeared behind the altar. In each hand, she held a flame. Her left hand held the Magdalene flame and in her right hand sat the Brigit Flame. She transferred the flames to my hands so I could take them somewhere else, but I didn’t know where, yet.
Next, she handed me a gold chalice filled with communion wafers and a goblet of wine, as though she was a priest. Then she said, ‘THIS is my church. Go amongst my people. Share my love with all. Give freely.’
I did not know what she meant. Did she mean I was to do that, and if so, how? And what did she mean by THIS is my church? Did she mean this physical building or the beliefs around her as a Divine Feminine energy? It felt esoteric, rather than purely physical. Her church felt energetic, like a thoughtform of her. I didn’t really understand. But I did understand that the communion wafers were the bread of the Mother and that when energised, fed the people spiritually. The wine, when consecrated, represented the energy of the Father and did likewise. These wafers were her energy.
Sometimes, when the energy of the Mother is to be shared, I am given it in the form of communion wafers, but this didn’t seem to fit that message. It felt too ritual-y. More like for a mass or a church service. But, needing to trust what was given, I held the energies anyway as I knew it would make more sense further down the line.
Which of course it did.
It has been quite a challenge, balancing the physical obligations of life with the energetic work of connecting these churches. I have to be able to dance between the two states; to move between them even though I feel very earthbound. Looking after my father means I have to stay physically focused, which means I don’t ‘feel’ the high energies like I usually do. And yet, they come anyway and I can be in the physical world without losing my connection to the other dimensional worlds. This is reassuring because sometimes when the energies are not very strong, they can be harder to read. At those times it is easy for me to think I am imagining it, wanting to see what isn’t really there. When that happens, I just watch, as I learned to do in the years of meditation and healing training I did. Being so grounded in the physical world makes it harder, as my vibration feels very ‘normal’, but remaining present to what intuitively, and psychically, appears is the key. One of them, at least.
Because this energetic feminine presence had given me these things, I knew they had to go somewhere, but it took a couple more weeks to find out where and the message about the impediment also became clear.
Before that one, I called into another church, after an impulsive detour the following day: St. Mary’s Church, in the village of Crawley. That work reminded me of the lesson about trusting my ability to manifest what I need.
But, I’ll share that with you next time.
The Gaia Method Earthways 
“It has been quite a challenge, balancing the physical obligations of life with the energetic work of connecting these churches. I have to be able to dance between the two states; to move between them even though I feel very earthbound. Looking after my…”
This is so helpful. I am also living into this challenge as I care for a loved one with a chronic illness, and sometimes find it hard to sink into the depths of the inner, because part of me is waiting for the interruption (call for help) that can come at any moment. I assume I am up to the task (because here I am in the middle of this situation, and the divine doesn’t make mistakes), so I am noticing the part that thinks it ‘should’ have uninterrupted time lol). What’s that saying? God laughs while we make plans…
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Hi Catherine, I’m really glad this helps. It is indeed a challenge and I think, also, a reality for many of us. There are so many layers to this Soul-work: the physical caring of a loved one, the background reasons for why we are doing it:past-life/Soul-contract/personal healing, our prior incarnational agreements, that it amazes me. This latest work with the churches also has previous life aspects that I only just realised. I might write about that but I feel reticent to as I am always wary of sharing those particular lives. Mainly out of fear of judgment! But my work caring for my father is closely related to the Hampshire churches work in ways I am only realising.
What I tend to do is to always remain open to ‘Upstairs’, no matter what is happening or how difficult it becomes. Then energies can come in no matter what I’m doing. I too am constantly on call, which is why it takes me three days to write up one blog! No sooner have I sat at the table to write when I have to get up again to get him something. But, maybe this is how it is in the world, unless we are privileged to be rich enough, and free enough, to travel the world unhindered by familial obligations.
You are doing something good. Serving another human being, even if it sometimes drives you to distraction. So long as you keep your Soul-connection strong, all will be well.
And I agree, that part about making plans? A lesson I learned too! Although I believe it probably is part of a plan, we’ve just forgotten what the plan is! Our Souls, however, have not. 🙂
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Thank you for affirming my experience, and the fathomless omnidirectional timeline of the situation. Indeed, we (my beloved and I) have worked this out perfectly, and knowing that helped me climb out of despair and overwhelm when the medical condition first descended.
“So long as you keep your Soul-connection strong, all will be well.” Yesyes; I savour the reminder.
I feel held by your words and am grateful for them. Thank you for doing your work (on all the levels that you are), and sharing it with people you have never met.
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It is absolutely my pleasure and I am so glad my sharing helps. I think that even when we know our experience is ‘omnidirectional’ (great word!) it can still feel tough. Healing deep issues and working from the Soul is a challenge but it sounds like you are stepping up to that challenge. Sending lots of supportive energies your way. 🙂 And thank you for reading my first book. I am currently rewriting it and working on the sequels – three writing courses later. 😀
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Yes… it feels tough sometimes, but I am grateful that I have somehow built up my psychic spine, so I no longer go into emotional collapse… you know, those times of despair when there is no hope (or as you put it, losing connection with soul). Thank you for your supportive wishes; I gratefully receive them x
I am so enjoying your first book. I have covid #2, and reading it is a perfect soothe for my physically uncomfortable 3am awakenings. I’m surprised that you’re re-writing it! But I trust that you are doing it because you must. Am looking forward to the sequels 🙂
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Ah, yes. The psychic spine. Great way of putting it. You’ve obviously had enough challenges in life to have strengthened it. And yes, like you, I know that despair very well. My way of dealing with those intense healing times is to release it, heal the emotional energy which has probably been there for years, and then come back to the present. This too will pass, is my mantra. My guides also remind me of the poem ‘Invictus’, which, I was really happy to read, is also Prince Harry’s! So I am in good company! 🙂
I’m really glad you are enjoying the book. I am rewriting it as an experiment. The first book is the channelled version, as are the sequels, but after doing three writing courses, I thought it would be interesting to rewrite it and see how different it might be, and what that difference might feel like. I am sticking to the original premise, theme and characters, but fleshing out the bones of the story differently. A number of people expressed surprise that I was rewriting it, so that is reassuring. Thank you for that! 🙂
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“This too will pass, is my mantra.” I reach for that one a lot too.
“My way of dealing with those intense healing times is to release it, heal the emotional energy which has probably been there for years, & then come back to the present.” | This is so well put; pithy, and do-able 🙂
“My guides also remind me of the poem ‘Invictus’, which, I was really happy to read, is also Prince Harry’s! So I am in good company!” | This makes me smile… I have soft spot for Prince H
Your book re-write is a fascinating process… channelled, and then re-inspired! I haven’t read your channelling exercise, but I intend to try it. And great that you have done 3 writing courses… creativity is both natural, and something that blossoms after learning some rules That’s what I love about painting, it puts me on the path of eternal learning/integration/re-imagining….
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I do painting courses too. 🙂 Sometimes, I feel an overwhelming urge to paint, and it’s often a wild process as it happens. I need focus with art, I feel out of control otherwise. Quite unlike the writing process. With that, I feel like I’m shoe-horning my writing into a structure, which is challenging. I love the channelling process but then making it work is the difficult bit.
What do you enjoy painting? It sounds like art is your therapy – and your inspiration. Does it help balance you when you are involved with the other aspects of your life, your caring, etc?
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Yes, writing and painting are different beasties for me, too. I have found that my artist’s eye transforms everything I see into something magical, whereas writing puts me into a cognitive mode that, while useful, I don’t find so enchanting. I’m sure it’s different for everyone.
I make symbolic paintings with watercolour and gouache, and do find the intense focus pulls me out of the 3D timestream to an extent, but as a carer – as you would know – interruption is possible at any time, so dealing with that gracefully is its own spiritual teaching 🙂
What do you like to paint?
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“Interruption is possible at any time, so dealing with that gracefully is its own spiritual teaching”. Absolutely! I think that
is why I find writing easier in that situation. When I paint, I find interruptions really hard, and time-consuming. Takes me out of my flow. Writing , on the other hand, I can step out of – and back into and sometimes it is helpful to step away as it gives another part of my mind time to resculpt sentences and ideas.
Symbolic paintings sound interesting! Do the ideas come while you paint or do you have them before you start?
I love watercolour and gouche, and also pastels. And I use acrylics for larger paintings. I’ve shared some of my efforts on my gaiamethod page on FB. I’m still very much an amateur… 🙂 and a self-critic…
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I so appreciate this exchange of creative processes:). And yes, for some reason it is much easier to deal with interruptions to writing than painting (I’m guessing because writing is a more left-brained activity, and painting, a more right-brained one – if you’ll excuse the use of those clunky metaphors)…
Re how I come by my images, they arrive in my mind’s eye and then I put them onto the paper (lest this sound too easy, it takes me weeks of layering and taking back and working over again to finish them). I’m not expecting you to look at this, but to show rather than tell about the paintings, here is the link to my very neglected website which is theoretically under reconstruction, but this is an inward time and I am not yet clear what to reconstruct it into. https://catwork.weebly.com/painting.html
I was delighted to see your spinning and weaving :). I used to do both those activities in the early 80s, and your weaving reminds me of one of mine, with islands of colour (reminiscent of a landscape).
Only 3 days ago I organised with my niece (who lives on a sheep property) to put aside some raw merino fleece, because someone gave me a spinning wheel, and in mid-life I am very drawn to re-engage with this delightful activity. I’ll have to remember how to wash and card (and spin!), but as we are heading into winter, so it all seems divinely perfect.
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Thank you for sending me your link! I was dying to see your work but didn’t want to ask.
I LOVE it! I see what you mean by the layering. They are not paintings that have been put down in one sitting. To me, some of the layers suggest the unknown: especially the undefined, misty backgrounds which create a very ethereal feeling. You have a very distinct style and it’s beautiful work. Did you study art?
I hope you do continue with the website, although I appreciate the ‘inward’ time. Perhaps, when you are ‘out’ again, you will continue. And everything will have evolved too. Do you find your work changing as you do?
I found that with my writing. I look back on blogs I did fifteen years ago and cringe when I read them. I think about rewriting them, which I may do, if I ever find the time!
Your art style is consistently yours; I’m still finding a style. With painting, I always feel like a complete beginner, but with writing, I can see a progression from terrible, to ‘OK, that’s not too bad.’ When I live by the sea, I tend to paint a lot. I don’t do so much inland. But I try to write every day.
Where are you based, by the way?
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Thank you for looking at my work. I didn’t want you to feel that I was being pushy, so there we were doing the same thing… 🙂 You have well picked up that the layers are indeed representing the primordial unknown, from which things emerge and disappear… Practically speaking, releasing gushes of watery paint onto a pristine surface helps get around the matter of the blank white space at the beginning… (of course if you have areas that you want to let the page white shine through, then you need to use masking fluid; you probably already know this, so apologies if TMI).
I went to art school in the 1980s and studied printmaking, and then got sucked into the ‘real’ world of work etc, and it wasn’t until I had my daughter in the mid 2000s that I re-dedicated myself to my practice and picked up paint for the first time.
And yes, my work often changes, but not because I want it to. For eg, I’ve been painting some works that I don’t like much… they’re kind of weird, but it’s just what comes out. One of them is a two-headed snake wrapped around a black crystal, and I don’t know where the symbolism came from… (it’s not my usual reference). Am currently painting something with an ouroboros and the phases of the moon…
My experience with not liking the end result of creative process ( and who among we creators are not familiar with this condition of dismay? lol) is the lesson (which I apparently need a lot of!) that I am not in control, and especially not of what I birth (ooof that’s been difficult as a mother too, but I digress). All that to say that it has been a lesson in putting forward my best effort and then surrendering it up to… not sure what to call this… the Divine?
I live in Sydney, but my people come from Ireland a couple of generations back.
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Ah, Sydney, the place of my birth. Although I left at the age of two! Yes, I wondered about the Nolan; That’s why I asked. 🙂
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That reply went faster than I’d intended! Do you know what part of Ireland they came from? My father would return there in a heartbeat!
What ‘Normal’ work were you involved in? The reason I asked about art training was that your work had that energy of ‘knowing what you are doing’, even if it does come from someplace else. Yours is focussed. You already know how to create the images you want to create. That’s where my lack of training fails me. But that is also why I decided to study creative writing. I didn’t have that groundedness that I needed to tell the story the way I wanted to tell it. I felt like I was flying by the seat of my pants! Even though sometimes getting creativity to follow a structure is a challenge.
Thinking about your current work, crystals and serpents and moons – they sound amazing! I wonder what you are tapping into because they feel powerful, nearly as though you are feeling into something deep within the mythic human psyche.
“I’ve been painting some works that I don’t like much… they’re kind of weird, but it’s just what comes out.” I think that’s what happens, isn’t it, when you step into something dark. I have that experience too, in certain parts of the world, but it’s as if that darkness needs to be accessed and materialised somehow. Does that make sense? Are you picking up undercurrents of the energy from where you live, I wonder? Or which is in the collective, ancient and modern? I’m completely intrigued now!
I have created acrylic paintings that I didn’t like the outcome of either. They were ones that all came out in a rush. Yet I know the images are of another energy, but my frustration comes from my lack of technique. I feel like a mad artists throwing paint at a wall. It feels volcanic and I have no choice but to let it out, no matter what the outcome. But they are the paintings I judge most.
When I was living by the Red Sea, to which I will return, I did one of those paintings. It was mountains by the sea but there was red in the distance, like a red haze, which I really didn’t like, at all. But then later, I was doing some research into the geology of the Red Sea, and discovered that erupting volcanoes had created the Red Sea geology, constant eruptions closing a ‘gateway’ between the Indian ocean and the Red Sea. All that beautiful, fossil-filled stone I walked on every day, was a direct result of volcanic activity miles away. After that, I looked more closely at that ‘crazy’ process. It was another form of externalising internal information. Sometimes too, especially when I create in Egypt, (which I often call Australia, for some reason. Gondwona maybe?) I have a desire to ‘play’ with a medium, usually pastels, and create an image which turns out to be a place I later visit. That’s fun! It’s only when I get there that I realise I’ve already painted it.
Hopefully, when and if things change, I’ll be able to get back to creating art. Right now, it’s all writing. But that’s OK. Might even get the rewrite finished.
Being a mother and an artist? Totally agree. Went through that learning too! What we birth is often not what we thought they would be. And sometimes they are a nice surprise too. My girls have survived pretty well having grown up with a once-dysfunctional mother. 😀
About the Catholic mass rituals going back to Egypt, that was a fascinating discovery. And one which made perfect sense. I’m also seeing the same thing in terms of the connection between Catholic and Muslim pilgrimage. One of my next blogs!
Looking forward to hearing more about your creations.
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“Do you know what part of Ireland they came from? My father would return there in a heartbeat!”
They are from Co. Clare. The last time I was in Ireland was 1988, and I hear it’s changed a lot since then.
“What ‘Normal’ work were you involved in?”
I did different things… I was a computer animator, I worked for a psychiatrist running the practice and editing research, I worked for a Women’s Trust organising training and networking, I worked for a film institute, and as a psychotherapist (which I did postgrad studies in)… my work life has been all over the place!
“The reason I asked about art training was that your work had that energy of ‘knowing what you are doing’, even if it does come from someplace else. Yours is focussed. You already know how to create the images you want to create.”
I didn’t know anything when I first started painting (in 2005), and had never picked up a brush in my life (having studied printmaking at art school). It took about 7 years before I felt competent and found my style… it was part of my spiritual unfolding to get out of the way and make the work without the self-criticism that used to crush me… it was a windy path for sure…
“That’s where my lack of training fails me. But that is also why I decided to study creative writing. I didn’t have that groundedness that I needed to tell the story the way I wanted to tell it. I felt like I was flying by the seat of my pants! Even though sometimes getting creativity to follow a structure is a challenge.”
What you say about studying creative writing makes so much sense. You want to craft stories, so you learn from others who are more experienced. Generally it seems that we have to learn some rules in order to break them (and make the craft our own). I haven’t studied writing and haven’t the faintest idea how to unfold a story, and you have written a book and maintained blogs that go back years!
“Thinking about your current work, crystals and serpents and moons – they sound amazing! I wonder what you are tapping into because they feel powerful, nearly as though you are feeling into something deep within the mythic human psyche.”
That is so interesting that you say that, because I do feel that these images are breaking through from somewhere that is not my usual source material (which is often my daily walks, eg, I’ll see an Ibis and put an Ibis in a painting, or a fern, or I’ll find a butterfly wing and paint that, because I find the natural world beautiful and moving). I had a dream where I dreamt that I found a sad, dusty white dragon at the back of a cave, and I knew that it was an aspect of me that is waiting for… well, who knows what. But the power of a dragon as a symbol is so powerful! (not that I need to tell you that!).
“I’ve been painting some works that I don’t like much… they’re kind of weird, but it’s just what comes out.” I think that’s what happens, isn’t it, when you step into something dark. I have that experience too, in certain parts of the world, but it’s as if that darkness needs to be accessed and materialised somehow. Does that make sense?”
This makes so much intuitive sense! I agree, certain ideas do seem to need to be materialised, and some ideas/archetypes/egregores are so powerful I wouldn’t be surprised to find that some of us are used thus…as human entities capable of materialising (and clearing/healing) ideas and energies. I find there is a flow to this process: an idea arrives; I act on it, and there doesn’t seem to be a lot of effort or wilfulness involved… My understanding of what you do is exactly this kind of manifesting/clearing/healing (although I didn’t think of it this way until I just wrote it out).
“Are you picking up undercurrents of the energy from where you live, I wonder? Or which is in the collective, ancient and modern? I’m completely intrigued now!”
I don’t know… I live in a large city in an apartment block on ancient country that was tended by people who lived co-creatively with this land for 65,000 years… it feels wild and mysterious to me, and not familiar in the same deeply ancestral way that the plants of the UK feel to me… I am still pondering whether it’s ok for me to create my own rituals to call in the directions and the elements and honour the soltices and changing of the seasons when all the lore that I have access to is embedded in the lifecycle of the Northern hemisphere…
“When I was living by the Red Sea, to which I will return, I did one of those paintings. It was mountains by the sea but there was red in the distance, like a red haze, which I really didn’t like, at all. But then later, I was doing some research into the geology of the Red Sea, and discovered that erupting volcanoes had created the Red Sea geology, constant eruptions closing a ‘gateway’ between the Indian ocean and the Red Sea. All that beautiful, fossil-filled stone I walked on every day, was a direct result of volcanic activity miles away. After that, I looked more closely at that ‘crazy’ process. It was another form of externalising internal information.”
So the works are a kind of visual precognition… Interesting!
“Sometimes too, especially when I create in Egypt, (which I often call Australia, for some reason. Gondwana maybe?) I have a desire to ‘play’ with a medium, usually pastels, and create an image which turns out to be a place I later visit. That’s fun! It’s only when I get there that I realise I’ve already painted it.”
I’ve never been to Egypt, but it conjures up powerful feelings. And could you have chosen somewhere more geographically different than the UK!? It sounds like it will be wonderful to return home there… I am reading my way through your blogs, so I’m looking forward to finding out more about it.
“Hopefully, when and if things change, I’ll be able to get back to creating art. Right now, it’s all writing. But that’s OK. Might even get the rewrite finished.”
Or even the sequel to the first book!
“Being a mother and an artist? Totally agree. Went through that learning too! What we birth is often not what we thought they would be. And sometimes they are a nice surprise too. My girls have survived pretty well having grown up with a once-dysfunctional mother.”
Being a human is an epic journey, and living long enough to spend time with grown children is a divine gift to me… to heal and to enjoy the people they have become…

“About the Catholic mass rituals going back to Egypt, that was a fascinating discovery. And one which made perfect sense.”
The influence of power on religious form and philosophy through the ages is fascinating to me too. Not that I know much about it myself, but this subject keeps coming up, and I am learning…
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“I am still pondering whether it’s ok for me to create my own rituals to call in the directions and the elements and honour the soltices and changing of the seasons when all the lore that I have access to is embedded in the lifecycle of the Northern hemisphere…” I believe the rituals you create fit the area you are in. The energies you are feeling. The earth teaches you what she wants. I think that’s the way they were always created. I found the same thing in Egypt. people were coming doing rituals the western way, which seemed to be the opposite of what the site needed. But, they were doing what they thought was right. I’ve never been great with rituals because the site asks for what it wants, in my experience. It’s like there’s no point in lighting a fire in a swimming pool.
Ah, the little white dragon at the back of the cave. Sounds like you need to dust off your spiritual inspiration and creativity and channel more art. Humanity needs your creations. Interestingly, when people are working with dragons, their initiations with them often happen in caves, physical or imaginational. I wonder what would happen if you went to meet it?
That thing about precognitive art? That is one of the things that happens when you work with the white dragons because they reside in a highly creative, and energetic world. As creative energies, we have to learn to work with them as a co-creators. Especially because they are such a universal symbol of the energy nature’s abundance.
Yes, the blogs go back years, but I see how my writing has changed over the years and how young I was when I wrote them. I was still healing so much of myself that when I look back, I can see how much of my ‘younger self energies’ are present in the writing. It’s like looking at another self. Living in Egypt cleared so much ‘stuff’ that I feel like a completely different person now. It really was a trial-by-fire. Literally!
I am currently studying the parallels between Muslim and Catholic rituals. Fascinating stuff!
Clare is beautiful and yes it has all changed so much! When I went back, I didn’t even recognise the South, where I’m from. It was as if Ireland was buried beneath a layer of a dozen other cultures. But, the West still retains its Irishness. It has changed but not as much as the rest of the country. Too bleak, probably! Although, saying, that, I like the different cultural ideas that have come in. A bigger melting pot.
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