I have been busy lately, having undergone some shifts relating to letting go of allowing myself to be controlled, or manipulated into doing what others want me to do.
As healers, we are particularly susceptible to this, but once we recognise how someone else’s needs may be holding us back, it is then up to us to allow it or to move on to more empowered living.
It can be painful and disorienting but ultimately freeing.
Controlling or manipulative behaviour stems from fear, and is not done on purpose. Recognising that helps us to stay out of a victim-place, knowing that, once we understand what we are experiencing we can then make choices about what course of action needs to be taken.
For me, it is about pulling back, finding my own centre again. Sometimes it feels like starting over, and that’s OK too. I immerse myself in creativity and find my new direction, which appears eventually.
I had an experience with dragon energy three weeks ago which I now understand was the start of this letting go. I was preparing to go to Carisbrooke Castle, on the Isle of Wight, to do energy work when I closed my eyes and saw a rainbow dragon swirling up around my legs. As it moved further up around my body it became a black dragon, and then further up still a white dragon. As it spiralled around me it was collecting energy the same colour as itself, so the black dragon was collecting black energy streams, and the rainbow dragon, different colours energy streams. When it reached above my head it spun itself, as if on a spindle and spiralled back to where the energies had originated.
I saw that they were other people’s energy: desires, Will, needs. I didn’t know what they were exactly, but I knew they were sent out from other people and were affecting me somehow. Later, I realised that it was through using an essence, one I made at St. Nectan’s Waterfall but never actually used, that this was happening in the first place. I never knew what this essence was for but through this experience I discovered that it clears other people’s energy commitments from your ‘field’, freeing you to follow your own path!
I am still going through this process, as it takes time and much clearing of emotion to continue a path you didn’t know you weren’t on anymore! But I am slowly feeling more centred again and more in control of my own destiny!
So, once again, I have learned a new way that dragon-energy works in our field. The fact that the dragons shifted colour as they moved up through my energy-field tells me about the energies I had inadvertently accepted; the thoughts or desires that I thought were mine but which were proving to be a blockage to my own path.
This must happen all the time, to everyone. We all affect each other, one way or the other, but sometimes it gets in the way and needs to be cleared. The people from whom we have accepted these energy streams become very obvious as we begin the process of clearing. It is in our everyday interactions with people that tell us what behaviours and feelings are connected to them. Once we have that information, then we can choose what we do with them. I usually withdraw gracefully and continue on my own path. Other people can fulfil their needs, it doesn’t have to be me.
So now I am back on track…or at least getting there and getting ready to continue the journey. I have only a vague idea of where this is leading me but it will be of my Soul’s choosing, not anyone else’s.