The Effects of Healing. Part One.

One of the most important things I have learned with healing is to be patient and to trust that the energies I have received or given, will take time to unfold. Today, we expect instant results, an instant pain-free life, and instant change, but that is not how healing works. Your inner-self has its own awareness and knows how to use the energy you have received to benefit you in the best way.

I began to learn this lesson quite early on in my Reiki life. I needed some practice of hands-on healing and an elderly neighbour had bad arthritis and was in a lot of pain. She asked me if I could give her some healing so I agreed. I didn’t charge for it as she was giving me practice time. I thought I was there to help with her physical issues, but as it turned out her soul had other ideas.

I worked with her once a week for nearly a year, and during that time, as we built trust and as it usually happens with Reiki, she shared her history. Since she was a child she had experienced sexual and emotional abuse and eventually married a man who had also abused her and her children. She was a very tiny, thin woman who couldn’t say Boo to a goose and she had felt completely powerless in her marriage, unable to deal with her husband and his behaviour.

After a year, I could no longer work with her due to external changes in my life and she went to a local healer for a few weeks. Her arthritis seemed to be no better but other changes were happening internally.

I met her again a year later and she told me what had been going on in her life. I had heard that she had had issues with her husband and their grandchild. She had discovered that he had started to abuse her only grandchild and she could not stand back and watch him destroy another generation of children. So she reported him to the police and then was a witness against him in court. She kicked him out of the family home and he spent two years in prison.

I was amazed. This tiny, bird-like woman had enough power to stand up to a man who had abused her for years and had made her life, and the life of her children, an absolute misery.

I met her again a couple of years later, and she told me how she was getting on. Her husband had completed his sentence, but she had never abandoned him. Throughout his ordeal, she had continued to support him, but in a strong, healthy way. She was able to be firm and clear but never lost her compassion for him, seeing him as another wounded soul. 

I have no idea what happened with her arthritis but her life was healthier and happier because she had changed internally, letting go of the belief that it was her fault that she had been sexually abused as a child. Because she had let go of that belief she did not have to sit back and watch her children being abused and she didn’t have to put up with being abused herself. That combination of energy, talking and emotional release helped her to heal.

The healing didn’t turn out as we consciously expected it to though, and it certainly didn’t happen over-night. It took a few years for the process to clear the abuse energy from her system, so that she could see the truth and have the strength to make different choices.

For me, the arthritis was a symptom of the emotions and damage she had been carrying since childhood, and although in the beginning, when I didn’t quite understand how healing worked, I thought I was a failure for not ‘curing’ her. It was only when everything had changed for her that I began to understand the nature of healing. Thankfully, when I was working with her, I was also training as a psychodynamic counsellor, specialising in Sexual abuse and Domestic violence. So I was able to ‘hear’ her story in the first place.

This experience taught me a number of lessons.

  1. I have no control over what another person truly needs when it comes to healing.
  2. It takes time! Nothing is achieved overnight. There are layers of emotions, and these are linked to beliefs we formed as a result of our experiences and these all take time to shift and heal. So even though the person receiving the healing might also be expecting instant change, it doesn’t work that way. Everything takes time.
  3. Healing is often not what we expect. We might ‘think’ that we are healing something specific, but the Soul of the person receiving healing knows exactly what needs to change and that might be the complete opposite of what you thought needed healing. Trust is most important here.
  4. What seems like ‘failure’ to you, might be exactly what your client needs. This takes us to a whole other level of healing. While I was training as a counsellor, one of the things we were taught was that often it is our failure as therapists that helps the client the most. Why? Because it exposes feelings related to past disappointments, feelings that can be faced and released. If we are always the person the client needs us to be, consciously, then how can they know their deepest feelings? For healers, this is difficult to accept. We become healers to heal because we care. Our last desire is to let someone down. But often we do, and that’s OK, when we do it with awareness. There is often a higher purpose for that. (I’ll write more about failure and disappointment in another post.)
  5.  We are not responsible for another person’s choices nor are we in control of their path. How their Soul uses the energy we channel to them is entirely up to them. They will use it, or not, in whatever way is appropriate for them.
  6. Boundaries are extremely important. This has been a difficult lesson for me, as I experienced much sexual abuse in my youth. Boundaries in a therapeutic space are what keep you safe. If you have an arrangement, stick to it, unless something major happens. If you charge for your work, make it clear and don’t be afraid to ask for payment. Your time and experience are important. But that doesn’t mean you should charge out of people’s reach!
  7. Know your own limitations. You are human and will learn a lot through working with other people. You too are healing, and your client’s issues often match your own! Work on what comes up for you. “Your client can go only as far as you have gone”. If you haven’t healed aspects of your own life then your client can’t go beyond that either. However, the joy of being a healer, is that you too receive the energy as it passes through you, so you can move forward too. But you need your own healing in order to shift.
  8. Let go, and trust in the over-arching awareness of the Source and your own Soul and guides. Have faith especially that your client’s soul knows exactly what she needs and just be the channel and listener. Letting go is possibly the hardest one to learn, but it is an absolute requirement. Not everyone will accept your healing, not everyone will understand it and often, when they haven’t had an overnight shift, after all, they came to you to be healed, then they will leave you to find another miracle -worker. Let it go. You did your best.

Hopefully, by now you understand a little more about the nature of healing. I will post a few more of my experiences, especially when I began to receive the Gaia Method, so that you can know that whatever you are doing is perfectly OK. So long as your intention is to do your best and with the Soul’s awareness of what is necessary, then all will be well…even though it is not what you thought, and sometimes hoped, it would be.

I will take these points and expand on them in following posts. I hope they are of some help to you in your own journey.





Soul Readings.

I am now offering Soul Readings, either Past-Life or Soul Purpose/Challenges.

How they work: once you have requested a reading I go to the Akashic Library, which holds the records of all of our lives and our soul purpose. In my mind’s eye, it literally looks like an endless library, full of old books. The Soul Purpose books are usually white, while the past-life books are old and brown.

I then pick out the books that I need, so that I can read them. A day or two later the information comes in, in the form of a direct communication from your guides to you, where they explain the dynamics of a past-life, or a present life challenge or purpose. I write it up as they give it to me, and then I send it on. Sometimes the reading might be preceded by a healing energy transmission to facilitate your understanding of the information from a Soul perspective.

It is always fascinating when they describe soul dynamics within your past-life or present life and give you information on a difficult relationship or situation and the reasons for that difficulty. That then gives you the ability to change something you are struggling with, as your Soul awareness is now in the picture with you, helping you to understand your purpose and challenges and helping you to overcome them.

The price for each reading is £40. This includes the written report that I send you.

If you are interested in a reading just contact me.   Payments are paid through Paypal.

A Soul-reading can take time. I first have to request access to your records on your behalf and when the information comes in, I then spend a couple of hours writing it all up. It can take half a day, from start to finish, sometimes longer. It is a long process. I will send you both a word document of the reading and a pdf so you can keep them.

I am always available for questions if you have received a reading and need clarification on something.

Teaming up with your soul.

egypt-egyptian20princess20-2098One of the things I have found, as a result of doing the Gaia Method, is that I work more as my Soul-self than my human personality. I am very much aware of my Soul essence within my body, as though my body is the vehicle for my Soul to carry out its work. That has taken quite some getting used to and a few lifetimes of having my human Will stripped away so that I could allow my Soul consciousness more access to my present life.

I remember when this first started to happen, although I did not realise that it was ‘my Self’ at the time, but when I was doing self-development and healing, which was pretty much all of the time, I would sometimes feel another energy coming into my body. This energy was female and she could look through my eyes. I remember knowing at the time that she had beautiful, large almond-shaped eyes, and she was looking through my eyes into the physical world. She had a lovely energy and was interested in everything she saw.

It was only recently that I learned that she is my own Soul-Self, and her name is Ruteel. As I began to receive more and more of the Gaia Method I found that ‘aspects’ of myself could move around quite independently of ‘me’. The first time that that happened I was working at Knowlton Henge about ten years ago and I had to work with a Round Barrow which was in a field. However, I could not get to the field. As I stood looking at the barrow, wondering how I was going to get to it, I ‘saw’ a part of myself, as an Egyptian priestess, move out of my body and walk towards the barrow. I was fascinated! I watched her greet another woman, who stood on top of it. This other woman was from the Bronze Age culture that had built the mound. (I have written this on another blog).

When she was finished doing wsoulselfhat she needed to do, she walked back and re-joined me. After that, it happened quite a lot. But not always as Egyptian; often she would appear as an ancient Briton; a young woman wearing a white linen dress and with a white circlet of flowers around her head, it all depended on what was needed. I learned that these aspects were previous personalities who had been trained in this work in my previous lifetimes. I was accessing that ancient training in the present. That also told me that there was a definite connection between the energy-work in Britain and in Egypt, going back centuries.

The more I healed myself, the more I studied and the more I tried to raise my consciousness to my Soul awareness, the more I became my Soul-Self. The healing of my ‘issues’ and my past was incredibly important in this process because our fears, sadness, and traumas keep us locked into the physical body. It stops us from moving forward. As my guides said, ‘You cannot put anything into a glass that is already full’.

As I healed I learned to trust, trust in my guidance and what I saw. And the more I trusted the more I became my Soul. This process really is about allowing the Soul-Self to do what you and She/He has come to do. You are a team, working together, for the benefit of future generations of Humanity. That does not mean, however, that you become a saint! When you are going through your human stuff it can get messy, but you know that you are healing it and can view it from your soul perspective.

The more you do that, the more energy-work you do and the more energy you receive, the more you become a team. You know thathe-light-bodyt you are here to serve. You, your Soul and your guides/teachers, and all the people who are on the same ‘job’ understand that. The trick is to let go and to allow yourselves to be Soul-guided.

It takes many years of healing to get to that place of trust, and the younger you start the sooner you get there. And even once you get there you still continue healing. That is also why you are here. You never stop expanding into yourself. The more you do, the more you CAN do!

Sometimes this soul journey can feel rather bewildering, because it also affects your physical body. I go through periods of feeling like my batteries are flat, and have to go to bed and sleep, or I feel ill and have no idea why, but I have a deep intuition that it is something I just need to allow to flow through me. Something is being released, or worked through, and I have to allow it to do what it does, even if it takes time. It’s usually connected to past issues, or there is something energetic happening around me, like an environmental healing, that I do not need to be part of. I am usually told when that is the case.

Letting go of the need to be in control all the time is a huge part of this letting go. Control comes from fear and fear is something you need to let go of. Trusting your Soul and your guides, knowing that they have your best interests at heart is part of it. And knowing that you chose all of this in the first place, and you are continually choosing.

You do not become an automaton, with some unseen force pulling your strings, but you do learn that everything you do is for a particular reason. You might not understand that reason at the time, but you will. There might be karmic reasons for where you are, or you might be needed in a locality. You might have a ‘contract’ with someone and need to be there, or it might be a combination of lots of things. Trusting is the key!

It’s all about teamwork, and learning to be your Soul-self while still in your physical body. That, to me, is Ascension, not leaving your body to become an energetic one, but allowing a space for your Soul to enter into you more consciously. Our Soul is in our body from the moment of conception or birth and leaves it at our death and while we sleep. We have whole other existences that we don’t remember, but we CAN live more and more with our Soul memories and gifts while in this body. We just have to want it.

Click on the images to go to the Artist’s pages.

A ‘Changing your Reality’ Technique.

mirror-glass-broken-lake-impact-by-erik-johanssonOne of the first things I learned on my healing path was that we create our own reality. What we believe about the world, about people, and about life, is reflected in the world around us. If we don’t like what we see and experience, then we need to look inside ourselves to find out what beliefs, and the emotions connected to them, are creating our actions and hence, our reality.

The beliefs generated by our previous experiences become the generator of our present reality so we need to explore our inner selves in order to uncover the original belief.

This is a Seth method I use to find out what is generating my negative beliefs. And by the way, not all beliefs are negative. We create positive realities for ourselves too, but when our lives are not working then it is a good idea to find out why!

“Ask that some image or picture be presented in your inner mind, that will serve as representative of those portions of your own inner reality. Ask it to speak to you and tell you how to best rid yourself of…whatever issue you are struggling with. If a landscape appears, then ask for a series of such images, that will somehow point the way toward recovery, or toward resolution of the problem. Then follow through with whatever reply you receive.” 

This is an example of one session I did with this technique: I was a beautiful, tropical fish exploring the coral reefs. An Angel-fish, with lots of colours. I swam alone, exploring my watery world and perfectly happy with my situation. I took wonder and delight in finding interesting things to eat and see. nemo

Then a hook descended into the water and I took it. Suddenly I was hauled out of my world and plopped into a fish-tank, a simulation of the world I used to live in, but small, like one you would put in your living-room. The fish (me) was so sad, and she had lost all of her adventurous spirit. I asked her how I could heal this situation and she said to me frantically, through the glass of the tank, “You have to leave here. This place is killing you.” Then she opened her mouth and inside was a large ruby. She spat it out over the edge of the fish tank and told me to put it in my heart. So I saw myself doing as she said.

I asked her to show me where to go and I saw myself packing my luggage and putting it in the back of a truck, and heading off to some place better and freer. She told me that I would know by June! (I did this exercise in Oct 2014)

I was quite surprised by the intensity of the fish’s feelings. But I did recognise how this place was slowly killing me. I had no life here, 0ther than what others ‘allowed’ me to have, and even though I knew that there was a purpose to it, I had had enough of it.

As it happened, I had to go back to the UK to sort out my house and while I was there I went to Paris to pick up a Ruby energy from Chartres Catheral. It went into my heart! I took it back to Egypt with me. I knew that my work here in Luxor was done but I had to wait for the opening to come. It did…in June 2016! I found a lovely place on the East Coast of Egypt, on the Red Sea, and rented it for two years! I knew it was the right place as I had made an energetic connection to a woman, two weeks previously and had seen myself sign a contract with her, so when I found the flat, owned by a lovely English woman, I recognised her energy. We move at the end of October. fih

What is also interesting is that when I got back from the UK, in April of this year (2016), we had to buy a new A/C, a water-generated one! After a few days it begins to smell like a fish-tank!!! The message was clear enough!

But it took two years, after doing this exercise, to actually change my reality. Beliefs change but all of the issues generated by the beliefs have to change too. It’s not an overnight miracle, but doing these inner-change-exercises work if we trust what presents itself in our reality and then take the actions necessary to bring them into our lives. I could have ignored the prompt to go to Paris, and I could have ignored the opportunity to go to the Red Sea, allowing my fear to stop me. But I didn’t. And that made the difference!

Use this technique whenever you are faced with a situation you don’t like and allow yourself to change your world. You’re worth it!



Let Go!

B0001336There is a very easy option! LET GO.

The Magdalene energies have arisen. Allow yourself to partake of them then use them wisely. Liberate yourself from the yoke of subservience and stand in your power. Trust that others can take care of themselves. Liberate yourself from thinking that all depends on you and give others the opportunity to discover their own resources. Try to achieve this and your life will improve 10-fold.

Liberate yourself from impulsive action. If you feel angry at other people’s demands on your time and energy, look at what drives your reactions and emotional motives. Let go of the fear that they can’t look after themselves. Although they may still need your guidance from time to time, they need to learn independence. Give them this now. It is necessary! Let go.

Bridge the gap between understanding and non-understanding. The way forward is there if you but look for it.

Feel the blood coursing through your veins. Feel the throb of the heartbeat of the Earth. Breathe the fresh mountain air come home to yourself.

Feel the seasons changing times, feel as the Earth begins to slow down and go within, allowing her life-force to rest and recuperate. Allow yourself to do likewise.


An Affirmation.

IMG_0020Repeat this often:

I am safe. I am alive in my body now. I use my energy in the most alive way possible. I am light. I use that light for the benefit of mankind and I trust in the Universe to protect me and support me in my endeavours.

I AM LIGHT. I stay focussed on the best possible outcomes of all situations in which I find myself. This is the truth and my mind and body accept it as such for there is no difference between my soul experience and my physical expression. They are one and the same, and so I trust myself, I trust the Universe and I trust the Source to know always which is the right direction to take, and how to manage that direction when it arises.

So be it.

The Dark Knight.

“This is the meaning of the dark Knight, the cumulative forces of darkness manifested in one man. He challenges the Light, challenges it to grow. The flame will then either be extinguished or will grow and overcome the darkness inside.clip_image002[6]

We all have this dark knight within us, for we cannot grow without him. Many of you on this spiritual path do not wish to acknowledge the truth of his existence. You stay in the light so that the darkness cannot be touched. It can remain, dark and brooding, hidden inside you. How can you grow if you do not acknowledge your ‘Dark knight’?

It is an illusion to think that the light alone can feed you. How can the Light alone, the higher frequencies, draw you further along your path? It cannot, without its counterpart, the Dark. The Dark forces you to acknowledge your weaknesses and to put them to rights. It challenges your assumptions, your belief that all is goodness. All is not goodness, all is in temporary balance, active for periods of time.

In holding the Light you must become proficient in working with the Dark. This is true balance. Holding both energies in the palms of your hands. Light is Dark and Dark is Light.There is no other way.

Design a way now that all beings can begin to take hold of this reality. That they can, for once, recognise that everything they are holds the energies of dark and light. Only is so doing can peace be restored. It will no longer be possible for humanity to oppress those they consider to be  ‘Devils’ for they will see that the devil is indeed themselves. They are both the Light and the Dark. This is the way forward.


When people see that having so called ‘negative’ experiences are part of the experience on this world they will no longer fear it and run towards the Light, bringing their fears with them, turning it into darkness. Then they run from this darkness again and the cycle continues.

Try now to imagine a world where light and dark are on equal wavelengths. Where the observance and acceptance of both is the norm. This is the vision we want to instil in you. The perfect balance between the forces of good and ‘bad’. These opposing forces then become allies in this game of life, as it has done in yours. We do not say that this is easy, for we are fully aware that it is not, but it is obtainable.